Are You Afraid To Die?

In my distress today, the Lord surprised me. As I was walking along the road on my way for lessons, I was asking the Lord a question, "Where will my pulpit be, Lord?" Had an almost instant reply in the same day.

While I was at tuition today, so engrossed in the kid's lessons, there was a 'scene' about the fact that they were afraid to die. I grabbed the opportunity, took out a piece of paper and started to draw a John 3:16 diagram http://www.simusic.com/john316/john316_13.html for them. I wanted to share my hope in Christ and that I knew where I was going when I died.

The kids were so ecstatic that they were silent and listened to me explain the diagram. (Usually, they would be chatty and noisy!!) I knew that I had 'touched' on a raw nerve and I had given an answer to their fears. At the end of the session, I even taught them how to receive Jesus into their hearts. I concluded that ,"When you are ready, let me know. I will pray with you and lead you to invite Jesus into your heart." Woo wee!! I was thrilled just seeing that the kids were connecting with me.

From there, they were so co-operative and the girl even mentioned that she would like me to teach her forever! Oh, what a comfort to my aching heart!
God sure knows how to comfort us in our pain and agony.... This brought so much delight and joy to me, just being able to taste of the kingdom of God here.

Shaken..

Thank God that the Lord was preparing me this morning that in my weakness, He is made strong. I am not sure if I can say like Paul in 2 Cor 12:10 that I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecution, in distress, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Die Again!

At my G12 mtg last evening, we shared about 'dying' again. Yes, again because this has been a topic that we have been sharing consistently about in the last 2 weeks. Guess the Lord was and is teaching us as a team to
D-I-E .. to ambitions, boasting, selfishness, having the last word, impatience, fear, unforgiveness, being judgemental etc.

It was great when we were all open to sharing our weaknesses and we were REAL! God revealed to us that we were looking at the speck in our brother's eye and did not see the log in our own. It was a good time of reflection and self-discovery!

Hmm, God has been speaking to me from Prov 30:8-9 that in the midst of the many things that are happening, my prayer is that God will remove falsehood and lies from me; Give me neither poverty nor riches - feed me with the food He prescribes for me, lest I be full and deny Him. And say, "Who is the Lord?" Or lest I be poor and steal, and profane the name of my God. Just allow me to be content with what I have so that I may be a blessing!

Die To Rights

I am learning to die to the right to be right! Sigh .. I have been encountering difficulty in many areas trying to relate and I am rather tired and worn out. It has been a rather tiring process although I kept reminding myself to be cheerful about the matter and be gracious and merciful.

The Lord reminded me through a prophecy from a Father Heart of God Conference I attended in April 2004 about the weapon that I was to use ....

"You are like a light bulb. You are like a joy giver. The Lord loves you very much and He is giving you the Gift of Laughter... something that you can share and spread. The Bible says that Laughter does good like a medicine and you are like a physician/ doctor and in His guidance, your laughter can bring healing where there's not healing and it can do warfare. Laughter is WARFARE! It's like it can fight a war and you might be called a laughter warrior - or the doctor of laughs. I see such joy in you and the Lord is very please with you. Even the struggles that you have, you get up everyday and go and share them. He will heal you as you heal others."

What comfort and assurance ...

Emo Week

Sigh .. like the kids would say, "I feel emo ...". That is a feeling of being emotional, touchy etc.

I felt so drained from an entire week of going through different emotions from anger to fear to betrayal to disappointment to sadness and even to compassion for many different ministry cases.

Guess the Lord is walking me through these times to bring me to another season of moulding and building in the area of my character and attitudes. I want to adopt what the Lord feels in these times ...

Like the song 'Hosanna' says .. (when my gals and I were rehearsing to be on stage this Sunday for the Choral. How exciting!)

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You
Have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for
Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

An Open Door??

God opened a wide door for me in KA today in a Childcare Centre and I felt rather overwhelmed at the extent of the invitation. It was basically to do Enrichment Programmes with the kids aged 4-6 years old. Wow! On 21 Aug, I was supposedly to prepare to meet 39 Centre Principals to present the package to them with a trial.

At the first instance when I heard that I had to do a presentation, I 'chickened' out. I was filled with much fear and I nearly wanted to back out and asked if there were other alternatives. Sigh, guess not! On hind side, the Lord gave me ideas and relevant insight with regards to connecting with them ... although I still feel uncertain and terribly lonely.

I had so many doubts in my mind that I felt lost and kept questioning ...

Firstly, why were there no other 'competitors' when there are so many vendors out there? Secondly, what did God see in us to grant us such favor with 39 centres? Thirdly, why do I have so little faith to believe that God has something good installed for us?

This caused me to realise that I have limitations but have forgotten to see that 'With God, All Things Are Possible'. Also, I was so concerned to see my own puny, frail, inferior, measly ways and have not overcome the fact that if God is for us, who can be against us? He is the One who opens doors that no man can shut and will shut doors that no one can open ....

I just finished reading a book entitled 'Marketplace Miracles' by Rick Heeren and I was reminded that God uses the ordinary things in our lives to turn it extraordinary. He wants to be our 'Partner' in the Business and wants us to 'pastor' the city through the works of our hands. Guess, I must be willing to submit myself fully to Him and allow Him to do what He wants with me, although very difficult. Just as we prayed together at our G12 meeting last Wed, I pray that we will seal the decision in our hearts that we will serve and love the Lord, no matter what!

Please keep me in your prayers as I seek the Lord and wait.

God Is Healer

Yesterday, I received an urgent call from Blind God-pa informing me that the Polyclinic doctor went personally to his house to tell him to wait no more and head for the clinic first thing in the morning as his blood test results were bad. Potassium high and it might affect his heart.

He was so worried and troubled. I prayed with him over the phone and I want to testify that God is faithful and true. Today, I met him at the clinic and they were ready to send him to CGH A & E for a thorough check-up. Praise the Lord ... all is well! At the hospital, they found that his blood pressure was normal and his potassium level was also normal. Hooray! Glory be to His wonderful name. God sure hears our prayers ...